New Home for the Celebrity Blog...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

In the life of every blog the time must come to either move on or move up, and this summer has been just such a time for this one.

But don't worry, we're not moving on...we're moving up! Our new address is Celebrity Unofficial. Make sure you change your bookmarks to our new location.

The new blog is much more robust than this one, so we look forward to bringing you a higher quality blog experience...starting today!

See you at Celebrity Unofficial!

Stay Away, Paris Hilton...I Mean It...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton hit with restraining order

Paris Hilton is going to have watch herself at parties from now on. She's been slapped with a restraining order that keeps her at least 25 feet away from the guy who introduced her to Stavros Niarchos III when they're at parties together. If it not's a party, then she has to stay at least 100 yards away for the next three years.

It seems the blonde heiress has quite a temper when she finds out you're advising your buddy to dump her, and she had taken to harassing and threatening him. This isn't the first report of her vicious temper, nor is it likely to be the last. When you're used to always demanding - and receiving - the royal star treatment from everyone around you, you tend to react badly when things don't go your way.

Let that be a lesson to you: don't cross Paris wouldn't like her when she's angry...

New Websites to Blame for Light Blogging

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

On a "non-news" note, I wanted to apologize to our readers for the light to non-existent blogging over the last few days. I'm pleading "very busy" to all charges...

Over the last year, JimmyKat Entertainment has grown to a network of 14 distinct websites, and our latest two websites have been keeping me tied up in knots for the past two weeks.

Lyric System is our foray into the world of song lyrics. We've already got over 120,000 songs in the database, and we've been working hard on adding as many artists, biographies, photos, posters, and yes...even song quickly as possible.

We've also added FlashPlay Arcade to the growing family. FlashPlay hosts over 1,200 flash games (so far) for your use and enjoyment. What makes FlashPlay unique is that each game has the code to let you add the game to your own website, blog, or MySpace. It's just a matter of cut-and-paste, and you can use our games to build a popular website in no time.

So that's what (mostly) has been keeping me tied up over the last few days as I've been working on getting these websites off the ground. We've got a couple more surprises up our sleeves for the next couple of months. At least two new websites are on the way, and I promise they're going to be completely different from anything we've done before.

Thanks for your patience, and I hope you'll stop by the new websites and stay with us as we keep growing.

Jenny McCarthy Sweeps Top Honors

Jenny McCarthy
And the worst movie of the year is ...

While the rest of the world was concentrating on which movie's political agenda was most popoular with the Hollywood elite, the little noticed Razzie's awarded their top honors to Jenny McCarthy and her movie "Dirty Love." Top honors for "Worst Film," "Worst Actress," "Worst Director," and "Worst Screenplay" of 2005, that is...

WOW...that's a lot of "worst" for just one movie: Jenny McCarthy must be very proud...

Jessica Alba Says Not So Fast, Playboy

Friday, March 03, 2006

Jessica Alba
Alba demands 'Playboy' pull magazines with her on cover

Jessica Alba is not exactly happy to be the latest cover girl for Playboy. Turns out, no one had told her or asked her permission. Whoops!

I can certainly understand Jessica not wanting to be associated with Playboy magazine, but legally speaking, I'm not sure she has a leg to stand on. More than half of the covers of tabloid magazines are "unauthorized" photos: candid paparazzi shots which are less than flattering to their subjects, and they're not sued. At least they chose a good picture of her...

To be fair, Playboy did have an article which mentions her, which is the same as pretty much every cover girl of every fashion magazine gets. It's a two-way street: the actress/model gets a little publicity and the magazine sells some issues.

Do I completely believe her story that she was "tricked" into providing a publicity photo? Not on your life. Unless she'd also like me to believe that her PR folks are morons.

Here's what I believe happened: Playboy wanted Jessica Alba to be the cover and approached her as part of the feature. She was willing to be included in the article, but didn't want to be on the cover. She provided the publicity photo for use within the article, but not specifically for the cover. Playboy then used the photo as their cover anyway.

So it's basically a matter of degrees, not the huge outrage she would have us believe. She wanted to be part of the show, but not the main attraction; so it wasn't like she or her people were just completely blindsided. They wanted the benefit of getting some good PR to Playboy's readers with the article, but they didn't want the potential downside from some fans of being featured on the cover. Essentially, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too.

The best analogy I can think of is when you're stealing cookies from the jar late at night in the dark, and suddenly someone turns the light on behind you and scares you to death. You're immediate response is going to be to yell at the person who turned the light on for scaring you in order to distract them from the obvious fact that you were stealing cookies...

You might as well eat the cookies now, Jessica...We already caught you stealing them....

Hilary Swank Smelling Up the Place

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Hilary Swank
Hilary Swank is muse of upcoming perfume

Usually that's a bad thing, but Hilary Swank is the new "muse" for Guerlain's latest perfume. She follows such notables as Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow in being the face of the ad campaign, but she hasn't taken the leap to her own line of perfumes like Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears.

My only question is this: what exactly does a "muse" do? I mean, I know that mythological muses "inspire," but it's not like she's going to be sitting in with the fragrance designers like a model for an art study class. Since that's not the case, I'm pretty sure "muse" is just their name for "person whose name we think will help us sell a lot of perfume."

Avril Lavigne Singing "Who Knows" at Olympics Closing Ceremony

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Avril Lavigne
Part of the Olympic tradition at the Closing Cermonies is to hand off the flag to the next city to host the Olympics. This year, it's Vancouver, Canada, which is scheduled to host the 2010 Winter Olympics: so Canada gets the chance to give us a teaser tonight.

Show at a glance

The Vancouver Organizing Committee, the group in charge of this preview show, tapped Canadian native, Avril Lavigne, to headline their show. She'll be performing "Who Knows." For those of you who want to sing along: Who Knows Lyrics

Enjoy the show!

Halle Berry and Richard Gere - Pudding People of the Year

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Halle Berry
Gere crowned Hasty Pudding Man of the Year

Richard Gere and Halle Berry have been named the Hasty Pudding Man and Woman of the Year respectively.

The award from Hasty Pudding Theatricals is given annually to a man and woman to recognize lasting contributions. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Tim Robbins were honored last year by the group.

Unlike the Oscars and similar award shows, this is a considerably less-than-serious affair. Gere had to put on a dress and heels before he was allowed to collect his reward. It's a little silliness for an industry that often takes itself far too seriously, so kudos to Gere and Berry for showing up and having a little fun with the award...

Lindsay Lohan Wants to Be a Grown-Up

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Linsday Lohan
Lohan: Don't call me 'teen queen'

I understand that Lindsay Lohan doesn't want to be pigeon-holed as a teen star. Now that she's maturing into adulthood, she wants to be considered for grown-up work. Definitely a good goal...

But here's the rub. If you want to be treated like an adult, and thought of like an adult, you first have to *act* like an adult. And Lindsay? Well, let's just say she hasn't exactly started down the road to deserving credit for acting like an adult of late.

Not too long ago, Tara Reid was complaining of the exact same thing: she wants to thought of as a "serious actress." I'll issue the same advice to Lindsay that I gave to Tara: Chill out.

You're going to have to prove to the big money people that your behavior isn't going to be a liability to a multi-million dollar project. Partying until the wee hours, engaging in immature teenage spats with other starlets, crashing your car, etc., are all strikes against you. Try toning down the lifestyle a bit. Let someone else drive: it's not like you can't afford a driver. In short, you're going to have to grow up before you can expect to be treated as a grown-up...

Nick Lachey Fudges Paperwork to Get More Money

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Jessica Simpson
Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson Divorce Storm Brews

In what is sure to be one of the big stories of 2006, Nick Lachey filed his response to the divorce papers from his soon-to-be-ex Jessica Simpson.

His response was laughingly predictable when you understand that basically a frat boy who's been freeloading off his wife for a long time and is now very upset that she decided to dump him for being a loser. So he wants all his jewelry back, and he wants alimony: after all, it's not like his prospects for a big career in anything other than fast food management are very strong.

But he's not satisfied with that: he also stretched out his date of separation by two weeks in order to try to grab at an extra $425,000. They publicly announced their separation on Thanksgiving, yet Lachey is claiming that they separated on December 13th. He says his date is different because he was "stilling seeking to reconcile." Conveniently enough, Jessica Simpson made $850,000 a week before - and Nick is changing the date on his paperwork so he can try to take half that money.

Hey Nick: if you were going to try to "reconcile" all the way up until the 13th, why did you publicly announce you were separating on Thanksgiving Day? Answer: you're a liar. This is just pettiness and greed.

Nick's playing ugly already....

Britney Spears Ducks Out on K-Fed's Upcoming Debacle

Monday, February 20, 2006

Britney Spears
Federline Says He's Ready for Backlash

Reading between Freeloader's statements, one thing becomes clear: wife Britney Spears wants nothing to do with his "recording career."

She could have easily ensured the success of his album by appearing on at list one track, but I have no doubt that she made the calculation that she didn't want to poison her future career prospects by being associated in any way with his pathetic vanity project.

He can talk about how the decision was made so he could earn "respect," but even his own wife won't respect his singing...why should we?

Britney Prepares to Fill the Void

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Britney Spears
'I sound bitter. I'm not bitter'

So you think things in the music world have been a bit on the dull side without Britney Spears? Britney certainly thinks they have been. I'm sure that will come as a big shock to Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carey, Gwen Stefani and all the other folks who have been keeping things lively on the pop music scene.

In case you agree with Britney Spears, you'll be relieved to know that she'll be releasing a new album later on this year. If you don't agree with her, then consider this fair warning...

Nick Lachey Wants Back on Jessica Simpson Money Train

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Jessica Simpson
Lachey seeks spousal support from Simpson

No, he's not trying to reconcile with Jessica Simpson: he just wants her money. After spending their entire marriage as an unemployed moocher while she worked to build her carrer, he thinks he should be entitled to keep being an unemployed moocher...

Sorry Nick, you're gonna have to get a job like everyone else. Sorry the royalties from your brief career with 98 Degrees aren't enough to keep you from getting the next number in MC Hammer Hero to Zero bankruptcy line. Maybe if you had concentrated on building your career instead of sitting back and being a condescending frat boy partier while your wife was taking care of business you wouldn't find yourself with no money.

But then again, it's probably a big part of why she dumped you in the first place...

Madonna Desperately Seeking Someone Else

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Coldplay to quit music scene

The article starts off with the buzz over Chris Martin from Coldplay saying that the band would be going on a two-year hiatus. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see what happens when the royalty money starts to dry up...

But buried deeper in the article is that it looks like Madonna has found herself a boytoy, and her marriage to Guy Ritchie may be on the rocks. Never one to be upstaged, I'm sure she's been watching all the publicity surrounding the relationship Demi Moore and the much-younger Ashton Kutcher, and she thought "If I did that, my name would be all over the headlines too."

The one thing that Madonna has always been good at is shameless self-promotion, and she's always been ready and willing to go to any lengths to get herself into the headlines. At 47, she's not a daily tabloid feature any more: but she hasn't lost the hunger to be one.

I'd be willing to bet that by the end of the year, she'll have found herself back in the headlines the old-fashioned way: by sleeping her way into them...

Are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Over?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Katie Holmes
Cruise’s rep denies demise of TomKat

Life & Style magazine reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have decided to announce a break up after their baby is born. A story which, of course, their publicist is vociferously denying.

Are they or aren't they? My guess is: they are. Every story in Hollywood begins this way: a source leaks it to the press, the publicist calls the press complete liars, then a couple months later it turns out to have been true all along. If you remember the recent breakup of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, then you know what I'm talking about. The story hit the headlines in August that they were breaking up. For over three months, both of them denied it, and then on Thanksgiving morning they announced that they were separating. That's just the way things work in that town.

It's time to start the countdown to the day they officially announce that they won't be getting married. I give it until after the release of Mission Impossible III on May 5th: he won't want any negative publicity before it hits theaters...So my bet is mid-May: any takers?

The Razor Sharp Dreams of Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman
Portman: I was glad to shave my head

So what do gorgeous young actresses secretly dream of? Shaving their heads...At least that was the secret wish of Natalie Portman according to her when she was asked about shaving her head for 'V for Vendetta.'

She said that she can "usually blend in" walking down the street. OK, maybe more than when you have your head shaved, Natalie, but I doubt you know what it's like to "blend in." Even if you hadn't been the star of several hit movies (which you are), you're still a beautiful young woman and even "nobody" beautiful women don't "blend in."

I've always liked Natalie Portman, but it's sometimes funny to hear celebrities talk about being "normal" and "blending in" - as if they truly have a concept of what that means. She's been in the movies since before puberty, so it would be more surprising than not if her concept of "normal" wasn't a bit skewed...

Sienna Miller Not Bitter At All

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sienna Miller
Stay single, says Sienna

Sienna Miller isn't bitter at all...honest...

She's celebrating this Valentine's Day by issuing advice to women: "Just stay single." For a woman who's just come out of two relationships: the public one with Jude Law and her affair with Bond-to-be Daniel Craig, she seems to be telling women to do as she says not as she does.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for Sienna and whatever she might be feeling. Granted, Jude Law was fooling around with the nanny, but she let everyone think he was a horrible person - all the while she was kanoodling with Daniel Craig. She's not exactly a victim here: it's obvious from the fact that both of them were seeking company outside their relationship before they were even married that neither of them were planning on making a go of it over the long haul.

Enough with the drama, Sienna...We know you weren't as badly treated as you pretend to have been. It's time to move on, and quit with the martyr routine...

Paula Abdul Pulls One Over on Dr. Phil

Monday, February 13, 2006

Paula Abdul
Is Dr. Phil a stupid cupid?

In the quest for publicity, no stunt is too small. That's the only explanation for Paula Abdul's appearance on Dr. Phil's Valentine's Day show looking for love when she already has a steady boyfriend.

This reminds me of the dust-up over her fling with the American Idol contestant. She wasn't honest about her relationship with him, and she's not being honest now. I understand wanting to keep your private life private, but you can't exactly use that as an excuse when you go on Dr. Phil to talk about your love life can you?

Dr. Phil got one pulled over on him by a publicity-seeking Paula Abdul who's looking to build on her rediscovered fame as an American Idol judge. He'll never admit it, and if past is prologue she won't own up to it: but we know the truth...

Pink Panther Tops Weekend Box Office

Beyonce Knowles
'Pink Panther' strikes again at box office

To the surprise of some, the new Pink Panther film starring Beyonce Knowles and Steve Martin came out on top in the weekend's box office numbers.

Remakes are always iffy viewing, and even a top showing at the box office this past weekend is no guarantee of the success of the film. The marquee value of both Beyonce Knowles and Steve Martin guaranteed that there would be at least some initial interest in the film, so the true measure of the movie is going to come in Weeks 2, 3 and 4 when word-of-mouth is going to be important to its success than the initial hype.

I think it should wind up being a moderate money maker as there's very little "light adult fare" for it to compete with at the box office making it an ideal date movie - neither too scary nor too loaded with testosterone, but the initial reviews haven't been overwhelming so I doubt it has any real significant box office staying power.

Neve Campbell Says Yes

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Neve Campbell
Neve Campbell's Party of Two

If you want to win Neve Campbell's heart, recite Shakespeare to her on one knee. That's what actor John Light did, and she responded by accepting his marriage proposal.

No date has been set yet, but congrats to the the happy couple.

Jennifer Lopez Uses Celebrity Powers for Good

Friday, February 10, 2006

Jennifer Lopez
Lopez Seeks Bone Marrow Donors for Woman

These are the sorts of stories that we like to see...

Jennifer Lopez is using her celebrity status to try to help a Hispanic woman find a marrow transplant.

She's appealing to Hispanics in New York City because the woman needs a matching donor to survive and fellow Hispanics are the most likely to provide a positive match.

Good for Jennifer Lopez, and I hope she is successful in finding this woman the donor she needs.

Kanye West Thinks in Biblical Proportions

Kanye West
West: 'I should be in the Bible'

No one is ever going to accuse Kanye West of being shy or modest: especially not Kanye West.

He thinks so highly of himself that he believes he belongs in the Bible. According to him, he is such a revolutionary talent that he's "changed the sound of music more than one time" and that he's "definitely in the history books."

No one can argue that he isn't talented, but c'mon Kanye even you can't believe what you're saying. OK, you might believe it, but honestly no one else does. You have never "changed the sound of music": you've simply been successful in a genre that existed long before you ever hit the recording studio.

What Kanye is becoming best known for is not his music, but his inability to even pretend that he doesn't think he can walk on water and that's never an attractive trait no matter who you are.

I compare him to Dennis Rodman who, when you get beyond all the exterior stuff, was one of the great defensive basketball players in recent years. But no one outside of basketball knew that because his ego and antics distracted from the talent that was so obvious once he hit the hardwoods. All people knew about Dennis Rodman was that he was "that crazy basketball player." If Kanye doesn't learn to be more temperate, soon all people will know about him is that he's "that megalomaniacal singer guy."

A wise man knows that arrogance such as Kanye's will come back to bite him in the end because no one stays on top forever, so - even if he himself thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread - he's smart enough to keep it to himself. If you are truly great, then you don't need to blow your horn: others will be happy to do that for you.

Evidently Kanye hasn't gained the wisdom to figure that out yet...

Teri Hatcher's Grammy Dress Steals the Show

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Teri Hatcher
Hatcher Wows Grammy Crowd With Sheer Gown

Forget U2's five Grammy wins, it was Teri Hatcher's dress that stole the show at last night's Grammys.

You can see Teri Hatcher's Grammy dress here and here and here and judge for yourself if it was "WOW" worthy...

Our opinion? Absolutely...

Britney Spears Blames the Paparazzi

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Britney Spears
Rush & Molloy: Risky drive? Brit cites lack of photog restraint

The girl just can't help herself. Britney Spears lastest brush with trouble came as a result of her driving without putting her baby in a child safety seat. The LAPD showed up at her house after getting a call from Child Protective Services.

She's blaming the paparazzi for the incident, but I'm not buying it. Readers of this blog know that I have no love for aggressive paparazzi, but I just don't believe her in this instance. The statement which was issued was obviously written by her publicist: it doesn't sound like something she would come up with on her own and the grammar is too proper. It's another case where the publicist is left cleaning up the mess left by Britney's (or Freeloader's) bad behavior.

I hope the job pays well...

Mariah Carey: Private Eater

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Mariah wears a bib

Mariah Carey has revealed that she enjoys eating in bed while wearing a bib - which sounds a little funny til you realize that she's probably got some seriously expensive bedclothes and linens that she doesn't want messed up by her food. (I have to admit though, it's awfully tempting to have some fun with the revelation.)

Like many female celebrities - and non-celebrity females, she admits to having difficulty controlling her weight. Her explanation that it's because she's a muscular person doesn't hold weight though: muscular people tend to have more stable weight because muscles burn calories.

She has the same struggle with weight as everybody else: I'm sure she has difficulty controlling her weight because of a tendency to over-indulge from time to time...and when she has the chance to strap the bib on, I'm sure she's not exactly counting calories...

A Baby Girl for Jennifer Lopez?

Jennifer Lopez
Are J. Lo and Marc Anthony thinking pink?

That's the latest rumor anyway...According to The Scoop, they've been told that Jennifer Lopez recently went on a several thousand dollar shopping spree at a trendy baby store buying all sorts of goodies for a baby girl.

According to her spokeswoman, she's not pregnant. But, spokespeople aren't exactly known for their honesty: just look at how long the spokespeople for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have been denying that they were even romanatically involved.

Spokespeople are professional liars and spin doctors: that's what they get paid to do. It would be nice if we could trust spokespeople to tell the truth, but that's not the world we live in.

I don't understand why celebrities, such as Jennifer Lopez (potentially) or Angelina Jolie (for sure), feel the need to lie about such things. Pregnancy isn't one of those things you can hide for long no matter what you do, and shouldn't it be something you're proud of? Isn't the first rule of lying that you make sure it's about something you actually have a chance of keeping secret? It just seems like something incredibly stupid to lie about. Sometimes the world of celebrity just doesn't make sense...

Rap Video Shoot Leads to Murder

Monday, February 06, 2006

Shot dead at rap video set

A Busta Rhymes video shoot that had attracted other stars such as 50 Cent, DMX, and Mary J. Blige - and all their "entourages" - ended with over a dozen gunshots fired and Rhymes' bodyguard shot dead.

I'm trying real hard to gather up some sympathy for these folks, but right now I just can't find it in me. This is the natural result of all this "keeping it real," that just attracts thugs and violent criminals.

Each one of these stars is a multi-millionaire, and there's no excuse to be engaging in lifestyles that are going to involve them in crime and violence. How many stars, other than rappers, need to even have bodyguards - except on special occasions where there is a high public exposure? The answer is: almost none.

Why is that?

1) Because they aren't engaging in criminal activity.
2) Because they aren't so insecure that they need "entourages" of people around them to constantly tell them how wonderful they are.
3) Because they don't carry guns themselves.
4) Because they don't hang around violent criminals.
5) Because they don't sing about how they're going to kill other people.
6) Because they don't go around talking smack about their peers.
7) Because when they become successful they understand that you don't settle disputes by getting out a gun and shooting somebody.

Do I need to go on with the long list of self-destructive behaviors that rappers and their "entourages" engage in?

I know it's not a popular stance with fans of rap, but the hard truth is that "keeping it real" usually winds up "getting you dead." How many more people have to die before someone in the industry stands up and says enough: "No More Thugs"?

Nikki Cox Engaged to Another Comedian

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Nikki Cox
Comedian Jay Mohr and actress Nikki Cox engaged

Congrats to Nikki Cox and Jay Mohr who met when he was a guest star on her TV show, Las Vegas, on their engagement. The couple reportedly plans to get married next winter.

I have to say this is a huge step up for Nikki Cox whose previous fiance was Bobcat Goldthwait - what? Yes...that Bobcat: the loony one from the Police Academy movies. If you're asking yourself what a hottie young actress was doing with Bobcat, I can't give you the answer. I guess she's got a real "thing" for funny men...

Another Sex Tape Scandal for Paris Hilton?

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton's videos to be sold at auction

Is there another sex tape scandal hiding in Paris Hilton's future?

Even ultra-rich heiresses sometimes have problems getting the bills paid on time, and this time it could cause Paris Hilton a whole lot of embarrassment. Apparently she had a large collection of very personal items in a storage unit in Los Angeles that her accountant failed to pay the bills on. In accordance with the contract, when the bills were not paid, the contents of the storage unit were placed up for auction.

A buyer bought the contents for $2,775 without knowing what was inside, but now that he knows what a goldmine he purchased he is planning to auction off the personal diaries, video tapes, and other belongings inside.

There's no word yet on what's in those diaries or on the videotapes, but Paris Hilton is furious about the whole situation and wants them back in the worst way.

Sorry Paris, this is price you pay for having so much stuff you can't keep it all in one place and for not taking personal charge of making sure the bills on your most personal possessions are paid on time...

Kanye West No Martyr For His Art

Friday, February 03, 2006

Kanye West
The Passion of What???

Steve does the hard work of slogging through the article in the latest issue of Rolling Stone so you don't have to...

The bottom line: Kanye West is no product of the streets. He was raised by his mother who had a decidedly upper middle class job, so where's the suffering? What's he got to be so mad about? He has gotten the benefit of every break in the world, and now that he's gotten all those breaks he wants to complain about how America is set up for white people. Really, Kanye? Then how did you manage to completely escape being affected by it?

He can't shut up about how downtrodden the black man is and how the country is set up to keep down the black man down despite the fact that every time he looks in the mirror he proves himself a liar, so what does he know about being downtrodden? Turns out he's just a darker shade of Vanilla Ice...

Heather Locklear Calls It Quits

Heather Locklear
Heather Locklear files for divorce in LA

After an eternity of Hollywood time, Heather Locklear is calling it quits on her 11-year marriage to Bon Jovi guitarist, Richie Sambora.

Locklear is citing "irreconciliable differences" which is just California legalspeak for "I don't want to be married to this guy any more."

The spokeswoman said no further comment will be made right now, but you can bet that there probably will be a lot more information forthcoming once the tabloids get a hold of the story and inevitable "Richie Tells His Side of the Story" and "Heather Tells How She's Moving On" articles appear in People or Us Weekly...

'Commander' Geena Davis on Leave

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Geena Davis
'Commander in Chief' taking a break

Despite pretty much every bit of hype they could hope for, Geena Davis and the cast of "Commander in Chief" are going off the air for at least the next six weeks in favor of a sitcom. The network is saying it will air the final four episodes of the season in April, but I wouldn't bet on it if its replacement has decent ratings.

To be blunt, the show is awful. The plot is wholly unbelievable and the stories are painfully contrived. Geena Davis may have won a Golden Globe for her performance, but awards in Hollywood are often more about politics and social commentary than they are about the actual performances.

Davis was rewarded because the foreign press that awards the Golden Globes is in favor of Hilary Clinton for president in 2008. The show always has been an obvious stalking horse for her upcoming candidacy, and so Davis was unfairly given an award she didn't really deserve because they liked the role she was given and what it stood for. It had little or nothing to do with her actual performance in it - they probably would have given the award to a trained monkey in the same role if they thought they could get away with it, so its unsurprising that the show is faltering so badly.

(Don't even get me started on the gay cowboy fantasy movie, 'Brokeback Mountain,' and how much undeserved attention for awards it has gotten because its "message" is so popular in Hollywood despite the plot being so completely unbelievable to anyone who hasn't always harbored a hidden desire for the uber-masculine Marlboro Man to be a closeted homosexual.)

But back to the point...

I initially tried to watch the show, and as I posted here right after that failed attempt, I didn't think it would last the full season because it was so bad. ABC tried to fix it by giving control of the show over to Steven Bochco, but even he couldn't fix the mess. Lo and behold, it hasn't lasted the full season despite the best attempts of the Hollywood press to foist it and its message onto the American public.

Good riddance to bad rubbish...Entertainment is always better when it's pure entertainment where any "message" is incidental to the story. When the message IS the story, it stops being entertainment and becomes propaganda and that's never a good foundation for anything built to last.

'Will & Grace' Jumps the Shark with Britney Spears

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Britney Spears
Britney Spears to guest star on 'Will & Grace'

If you're not familiar with the term 'jump the shark,' it means the point at which you know everything is downhill from there. It comes from the show 'Happy Days' when, as it was winding down, the writers had Fonzie jumping a shark on waterskis.

It looks like the writers for 'Will & Grace' have run out of decent ideas for the show, so they're going to bring in Britney Spears for a guest appearance as a stunt to boost their ratings in their final season. You always know that a show is on its final legs when they start bringing in the celebrities for guest appearances, and 'Will & Grace' is no exception.

After two failed outings as an actress, how will Britney Spears do? My guess is that it will be only slightly better than Kevin Freeloader's attempt at a singing career...

Kate Moss Takes a Trip 'Downtown'

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Kate Moss
Moss Returns to Britain to Face Police

After months of ducking British authorities, Kate Moss returned to the UK and was interviewed by British police in relation to the now infamous video and photos of her snorting cocaine.

In TV crime show vernacular, she went 'downtown to talk about it,' but hasn't yet been charged with any crimes. I don't know what she could possibly say for herself: they have video of her doing it. What's she going to do, claim it was baking soda?

Don't be surprised if she winds up facing charges after all this...It would be pretty hard for the British justice system to justify busting the average junkie on the street and letting her go after the whole world watches her snorting coke on video right under their noses.

Lindsay Lohan Mysteriously Cuts Herself

Monday, January 30, 2006

Lindsay Lohan
Lohan gets stitched up after teacup accident

Say what? Are we seriously supposed to believe that Lindsay Lohan cut herself with a teacup so badly that she required 10 stitches? C'mon, guys...

While it's not nearly as serious an incident as Joaquin Phoenix, the cover story is just as unbelievable as "his brakes went out."

First, have you ever broken a ceramic teacup? It's not like they break into razor shards capable of cutting in an instant. They break into pieces that are relatively innocuous unless you're trying to use them to attack someone. Second, 10 stitches from a teacup? 10 stitches is almost an inch long gash. That's an awfully hefty cut from any shard of ceramics.

I understand that what really happened to her is probably embarrassing: odds are she was doing something she shouldn't have been doing and managed to injure herself in the process. What gets me is the incredible stupidity they expect people to swallow when they try to cover it up.

Listen up PR People, if your client does something stupid and gets hurt, take five minutes of thought and pay us the respect of coming up with something at least halfway believable...Obviously coming up with stories off the top of your heads is not your strong suit...

Jessica Alba #1 Girlfriend

Jessica Alba
Jessica Alba dubbed ideal girlfriend

An online poll for which celebrity would make the best long-term girlfriend, Jessica Alba came out on top - ahead of Sienna Miller and Angelina Jolie.

I can buy into Jessica Alba winning the poll as she seems one of the most down-to-earth of today's starlets, but I can't see either Sienna Miller or Angelina Jolie as "long-term girlfriend" material. Although Sienna was martyred in the press because of Jude Law's affair, much less well publicized was her own affair with Daniel Craig. So she's not exactly the "trust her with your best friend" kind of girl.

And Angelina? Oh Angelina...She has a history of hooking up with her male co-stars (Johnny Miller from Hackers, Billy Bob Thornton from Pushing Tin, and Brad Pitt from Mr. & Mrs. Smith), so unless she was planning on giving up movie-making that's not really such a smart long-term option either.

Some of the rest of the Top 10 are such luminaries as Adriana Lima, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Natalie Portman, and Eva Longoria.

Surprise, surprise....Britney Spears didn't make the list...

Olympics To Take Big Chance on Whitney Houston

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Whitney Houston
Singers on fast track for exposure at Olympics

Whitney Houston is being given a chance to perform during the upcoming Winter Olympics. My question is why?

Over the last decade her behavior has become increasingly erratic due to an unacknowledged drug problem. I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate that she's kicked that problem to the curb, so why would she be given the chance to blow up on an international stage during one of the biggest events in the world?

I'm almost hoping for an absolute debacle that night to teach the Olympics an important lesson about what happens when you count on drug addicts....

Ashton Kutcher To Take Restaurant Plunge

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher among celebrities planning Reno restaurant

Ashton Kutcher is looking to invest in a restaurant in Reno, Nevada. I guess he hasn't been paying attention to other ill-fated restaurant celebrity-backed ventures like Planet Hollywood, and Britney Spears' NYLA.

I'm not hoping for him to fail, but given that the project isn't exactly attracting "A-list" investors, I can't believe that the prospects for the restaurant's future are bright. The truth is that he wouldn't have even been offered an opportunity to invest in it if more famous or better-heeled investors were willing to put their money down.

Good luck,'re going to need it...

Joaquin Phoenix Nearly Kills Himself

Friday, January 27, 2006

Joaquin Phoenix
Joaquin Walks Away from Car Wreck

The official story is that his brakes went out and his car flipped over. Yeah right. First, there's no way his car is so incredibly badly maintained that his brakes went out. I've driven some cars that have been badly maintained, and the brakes never "went out."

Second, even if your brakes go out it doesn't cause your car to flip. It might cause you to crash your car because you can't take a curve, but it's not going to flip your car.

None of this story is believable in the least. Whatever happened, it wasn't the fault of his vehicle or his brakes: he screwed up behind the wheel. Whether he was sober and speeding or under the influence of something and lost control or some combination thereof, I have no doubt that it was his own fault that he flipped his vehicle. Blaming it on the brakes is simply a way to avoid the bad publicity he would otherwise suffer.

He's lucky to have lived through his recklessness. That's all I have to say about that.

Meg Ryan Jumps on Foreign Adoption Bandwagon

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Meg Ryan
Meg Ryan adopts baby girl from China

Other than the positive publicity Angelina Jolie received for doing it, I'm not sure why it's all of a sudden the "in" thing to do. Now Meg Ryan is jumping on the bandwagon by adopting a little girl from China.

Why foreign babies? Not that I have something particularly against foreign children, but there are thousands - if not millions - of American children waiting to be adopted. You mean to tell me that there wasn't a single baby here in the United States that was available? Adoption services are constantly crying out that they need adoptive parents - especially for minority babies.

China isn't a country incapable of caring for its children, so that isn't the reason. Could it be just that by going overseas, celebrities like Meg Ryan can instantly get their "baby fix" instead of going through the process here instead? My guess is that these are impulse decisions rather than life-long dreams, and that celebrities aren't willing to wait for satisfaction. So they hop on a plane, pay a local adoption agency a load of cash, and presto! they have a baby.

I'm not against Meg Ryan adopting in general; in fact, I congratulate her on the addition to the family. I just have to wonder how much of it was just so she wouldn't miss out on the latest Hollywood fad....

Pamela Anderson Plea Falls on Deaf Ears

Pamela Anderson
Governor to Pamela: Cluck Off!

This sort of activism always gives me a laugh. Pamela Anderson, in a very earnest and "I'm horrified" kind of way, wrote a letter to the governor of Kentucky telling him to remove the bust of KFC founder Col. Sanders from the Kentucky State Capitol. To which, of course, the governor responded with a very polite "Get lost, birdbrain."

What these PETA folks don't seem to get is writing half-baked letters about a bust of Col. Sanders or splashing paint on people wearing fur coats, etc. just makes their entire cause a laughing matter. They may be tackling a worthy cause, but the way they go about doing it is ridiculous. It reminds me of high school cheerleaders getting together at lunch to decide how they're going to "get" the girl who dissed them. It's juvenile, and it reduces them to parody.

Sorry Pam, this is one bust you can't touch....

Ambassador Nicole Kidman

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Nicole Kidman
UN names Nicole Kidman as goodwill ambassador

Nicole Kidman is joining Angelina Jolie in the unofficial employ of the U.N. as a goodwill ambassador.

While Angelina Jolie is goodwill ambassador for children, Nicole's cause is being a symbolic representative of the United Nations Development Fund for Women whose goal is advancing women's rights and gender equality.

This is the kind of advocacy that I support for celebrities: it's not a role where they have to pretend to greater knowledge than they actually possess, they're lending their celebrity to a cause they believe in. If Nicole or Angelina does some good on behalf of their causes, they deserve big pats on the back for doing some worthwhile with the fame they have received.

Kate Moss Cashes In

Kate MossSupermodel Kate Moss to pen autobiography

Talk about turning lemons into lemonade...This is one of the major perks of being a celebrity: no matter how bad your conduct, no matter under what circumstances, you can always cash in on it...

So Kate Moss is going to cash in on her noteriety by writing a "tell-all" which, of course, isn't going to tell much of anything that we don't already know. The reality is that she's a drug addict who, despite being busted publicly more than once, still won't give up the we really need to know much more than that?

Ozzy Osbourne Is a Sad Man

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Ozzy: Xmas shopping would drive me to drink

If nothing else illustrates what a pathetic person Ozzy Osbourne is, this article surely does.

He has a wife he supposedly deeply loves, two kids - at least one of which he claims to be very proud of, fame, tons of money, and still he can't stand Christmas because "everyone is pi**ed." How dysfunctional do you have to be not to be happy with that kind of setup?

Sad, Ozzy...sad...

E Sends Groper to the Red Carpet

Monday, January 23, 2006

Scarlett Johansson
How Long Till This Guy Gets Sued?

If you're groping breasts without the express permission of the gropee, isn't that called "sexual assault" and punishable by some time behind bars? Is homosexuality now suddenly a "get out of jail free" card for criminal behavior?

Scarlett Johansson and Teri Hatcher were amongst the celebs who were publicly groped by this guy and not only is the network not sorry, they think it's great TV!

50 Cent May Have to Give Back a Few Cents

Sunday, January 22, 2006

50 Cent
50 Cent sued for copyright infringement

It looks like there's a pretty good chance that 50 Cent may have to fork over a few dollars for misappropriating some music.

Unlike many frivolous suits where some guy sitting in his basement claims to have written some lyrics or song snippet that suddenly became famous, the music in question was published in 1994 by 2 Live Crew and the similarities are unquestionable.

Have to keep a watch on this because not only would it cost 50 more than a few bucks but it would be a big hit to his credibility as well...

Angelina Jolie Changes Children's Names

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Angelina Jolie with her children Maddox and Zahara
Judge says Jolie's children can take Pitt's name

It's officially official now. Angelina Jolie has legally changed her children's last name from "Jolie" to "Jolie-Pitt." So now they have mouthful of names Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt. That's a whole lotta name for little kids with big implications for their future with Brad Pitt as their father.

Usually this is something that waits until after the parents actually get married, but then nothing about the relationship between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has been "normal," so why should this be any different?

Britney Spears Finds Religion

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Britney Spears
Oops, Spears switched religions again

Is Kaballah no more? Has Britney Spears decided to be a Hindu now?

I think the reality is that, like many people that age, she's trying to find a belief system that works for her. She's done a lot of things for which she can rightly be criticized, but I really don't think this is one of them.

I hope she finds something - whether its Hinduism or just a place inside her head - that gives her some inner peace because she really seems like that's the one thing she's most in need of....

Eminem Takes Her Back

Monday, January 16, 2006

Rapper Eminem and ex-wife remarry

After making a fortune trashing his ex-wife to the world, Eminem has remarried her.

I've yet to hear him say he was wrong for fantasizing about her death or saying all the horrible things he did about her, but I guess marrying into millions has a way of getting a woman to forget that you embarassed her in front of the whole world, huh?

Given how things have turned out, it seems that getting clean has cleared up his perception of their marriage, and it turns out she must not be so bad after all. Most likely it was his abuse of sleeping pills that brought turbulence to their first marriage, and instead of taking responsibility for his own problems he demonized her instead.

I hope for her sake that he's kicked the habit because otherwise she's probably going to find herself the subject of some future song when she decides, once again, that she's had enough...

Lindsay Lohan Denies Bulimia, Admits Drug Use

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan "appalled" by Vanity Fair article

It's getting to be all Lindsay Lohan all the time it seems this week...

According to Lindsay Lohan, she never admitted to bulimia. Unfortunately for her, Vanity Fair says it has every word on tape.

Given her sudden and otherwise unexplained weight drop, I have to say that Lindsay's credibility on the subject isn't exactly impeccable. I'm going to have to go with the reporter from Vanity Fair....

Lindsay Lohan Hooks Up With Leo

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan Romantically Involved With Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio, who has made a habit out of dating pretty much every attractive starlet in the last decade can now add Lindsay Lohan to the list.

It was only a matter of time before the hard-partying Lindsay Lohan made her way to King of Hard-Partying Leo who has practically ruled the Hollywood nightclub scene for years.

Whether you're dying to get with Leo or Lindsay not to worry, if past is prologue then this is not exactly meant to last...It also doesn't bode well for Lindsay's professed efforts to clean up her act: if you're going to straighten out your life, Leonardo DiCaprio isn't exactly the first person on your list of people to help you do that.

Hilary Swank Says Enough's Enough

Monday, January 09, 2006

Hilary Swank
Hilary Swank, Chad Lowe separate

Hilary Swank has made a career out taking on "boy" roles. Chad Lowe has made...umm...Well, he's Hilary Swank's husband though his personality and demeanor have always made him seem more feminine. So the match seemed to be made in heaven. She was the man, and he was the woman: but alas, after a Hollywood forever they're separating.

After yet another critically acclaimed role while he did pretty much nothing...again, how much time was it going to take before she decided that she needs someone more masculine?

Time's up, Chad...

Britney Spears On Her Way Back

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Britney Spears
Britney Spears hits Vegas, baby!

Britney Spears is getting back into shape after giving birth to son Preson. There's no word yet on when, where, or how; but it's a safe bet that we haven't heard the last from Britney Spears.

She appears to patterning her life and career after her idol Madonna - taking a break between babies to release an album, do some publicity, rinse and repeat...

Trouble for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Katie Holmes
Is wedding off for Cruise and Holmes?

Reportedly things didn't go so well over the holidays for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and that may wind up meaning long-term trouble for the couple.

I can hardly blame her folks for being upset about the whole thing after the spectacle Cruise has made of himself over the past year. It's one thing to be in love with a younger woman, but it's another thing to be so over the top weird about it.

I don't know what Holmes' relationship with her parents is like, but it must be fairly close for them to have planned to spend the holidays together. Coupled with reports about both Tom and Katie cooling off on marriage plans it may well be that Katie's schoolgirl crush has finally met up with reality....

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