Michael Jackson: King of Pop Turned Jester?

Sunday, July 31, 2005

US fans shun Michael Jackson CD.

8,000 copies of a Greatest Hits album for Michael Jackson? OUCH!

A decent band working a local club circuit can generate those kinds of numbers with a cover album, so Michael and his people must be beside themselves over numbers like those. That's not even close to enough to cover the manufacture and distribution of the CDs...

It looks like "Not Guilty" from a jury isn't the same thing as "Not Guilty" from his one-time fans after all....

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie Back Together...Whether They Like It Or Not

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Despite feud, 'Simple Life' to return

Fox has picked up their options for next year. For those not in the industry, that means that Fox had the choice whether or not to bring them back. Since they exercised that option, both Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are contractually obligated to appear. Should they choose not to, they would undoubtedly be facing quite the lawsuit.

So they're stuck together for another year. It's a potential goldmine for Fox because I'm guessing "The Simple Life 4" is going to be more aptly titled "Passive-Aggressive Catfighting 101." If you like Jerry Springer, then "The Simple LIfe 4" will likely be right up your alley.

Lohan Gets Priorities Straight

Lohan misses premiere for parents' divorce

Kudos to Lindsay. In a time when many celebrities put career above family, Lindsay took a pass on a big premiere in order to be home with her mother during a very difficult divorce.

I feel badly for Lindsay: having a troublesome relative is difficult enough, but for it to be your father and for it to be played out in the national rags has got to be hard. I'm with her when she says he doesn't deserve a dime out of the divorce. He's done nothing but be a source of pain and aggravation with his constant run-ins with the law. So how does he figure he should be entitled to anything?

A quick message to Lindsay's dad: do yourself and your daughter a favor and get over yourself. As soon as you had a child, your needs were supposed to come second and evidently almost twenty years have passed and you still haven't figured that out. Your child is a success despite you, and yet you still can't get your act straightened out. I'd pity you, but it would be more than you deserve....

Julia Roberts Changing Venues

Friday, July 29, 2005

Julia Roberts to make Broadway debut...

It seems inevitable these days that big movie stars want to wind up on Broadway at some point. I think it's one of those "so I can say I've done it" things with actors.

Don't get me wrong: I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think if you have to go to Broadway to prove something to yourself, then by all means do it. All I'm saying is that it's predictable...

Too Much Ring for Paris Hilton

Giant engagement ring weighed Paris down

Poor Paris Hilton got a 24-carat engagement ring that was too heavy for her finger, so her fiance had to get her a platinum Cartier band for "everyday use."

I'm trying really hard to feel bad for poor Paris (either of them), but I just can't seem to manage any sympathy. First, NO ONE needs or looks good wearing a 24-carat ring. A stone that size just looks gaudy. If you need to impress people that badly just carry a copy of your most bank statement and whip it out as you introduce yourself. Second, Paris (boy) your girlfriend weighs approximately the same as the ring. Think about the physics involved there...and, third, when your "everyday" ring is a Cartier you're not exactly in a territory where pity would be appropriate.

Brooke Burke and husband call it quits

Brooke Burke and husband split

I feel badly for anyone whose marriage ends, but there are men (and some women) all over the planet right now who are celebrating. I don't know what ended up causing the final rift between the two of them, but I'm sure that there's a line of potential suitors for the lovely Ms. Burke that stretches from New York to L.A.

Not that Garth Fisher, the soon-to-be ex-Mr. Burke, is going to be hurting either. A plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills is neither: a) poor, nor b) wanting for female companionship.

All that aside, how many people have the dubious task of issuing a statement to People magazine on the event of their breakup? Can you imagine having to deal with that headache while you're trying to deal with the end of a seven-year relationship?

No thanks...